Category: Updates

An Easter Egg Hunt To Dye For (Get it? GET IT???)An Easter Egg Hunt To Dye For (Get it? GET IT???)


Candy, eggs and bunnies, oh my! Note: No! No!  Look at the KIDS!  Not the fat man, the KIDS!!! Addendum: Picture was taken with a wide-angle lens. Disclaimer: I had just eaten a bowling ball for lunch. Sidebar: The KIDS, dangit, the KIDS!!!!   Room to move…and hunt Most of my readers know that we […] ...

I’d like to introduce you to The Greatest Voiceover Artist Of All TimeI’d like to introduce you to The Greatest Voiceover Artist Of All Time


You may already know Him "Question mark made of puzzle pieces" by Horia Varlan is licensed under CC BY 2.0     I am envious, and I like it Look.  All blogs from The Voice Actor Blog are supposed to be a comical interlude to your week.  A refreshing break from the maddening norm of auditioning-marketing-recording-rinse-repeat.  Inspirational in nature.  […] ...

An Unbloggy Blogless Voiceover Blog full of Bloggy BlognessAn Unbloggy Blogless Voiceover Blog full of Bloggy Blogness


The Best of the Recent Rest  "BLOG IDEAS" by owenwbrown is licensed under CC BY 2.0     You know you're busy when... Ever have no time to blog, or do any other precious activity? Well. As it was my wife's and my 9th wedding anniversary this past week (do I hear a Beatles "Number Nine" coming on?)... ...and […] ...

No Thanks. I Already Know Everything.No Thanks. I Already Know Everything.


Arrogance at its Finest      All Hail The Know-It-Alls He is known only as…Know-It-All.  Dressed in yellow pajamas, with short-cropped hair and bullet-proof glasses that magnify his nearly-crossed eyeballs into the size of small moons, Eddie Deezen’s character in The Polar Express is simultaneously obnoxious, cute and annoying. Obnoxious: because he knows everything and […] ...

Accursed Red Badges and Pavlov’s DogAccursed Red Badges and Pavlov’s Dog


Our Conditioned Responsiveness   It’s a Dilemma, Truly "a dilemma" by Julia Manzerova is licensed under CC BY-ND 2.0   I recently watched The Social Dilemma for a romantic date night with my wife.  I assure you this is because Transformers: Dark of the Moon - the ultimate love movie - was out of rotation. We’d wanted to for […] ...

I Hate CommunityI Hate Community


…and statistics. And statistics about community.   "Wyverstone Community Cafe" by oatsy40 is licensed under CC BY 2.0     The Revulsion of Community "Moontribe-Party - Gathering of the Tribes - 2001 *" by Sterneck is licensed under CC BY-NC-SA 2.0   I was reminded today, yet again, how much I hate community.  Now, I know what you’re thinking. We don’t hate.  When […] ...

Staycations and Axe-MurdersStaycations and Axe-Murders


...and the inextricable link between them "camping staycation" by hownowdesign is licensed under CC BY-NC-ND 2.0   I tried. I really tried. That’s all I can say.  I really, really tried to have an enjoyable staycation and not do any work.  It was all out of purely goodwill and good intentions, which is another way of saying I mean […] ...

It’s Not You, It’s MeIt’s Not You, It’s Me


…but it’s really You "Ruth Roman in Bitter Victory (1957) #1" by Classic_Movie_Gals is licensed under CC BY 2.0   From There to Here Warning!  Gratuitously and unusually UN-funny blog ahead!  Read at your own laughter’s peril! Here goes… Reconciliation is a long road.  It starts with an offense and ends with an apology, or, at the very least, […] ...

The Intrepid Tale of a Voiceover Artist iPhone-Addict GuyThe Intrepid Tale of a Voiceover Artist iPhone-Addict Guy


Don’t judge me. "iPhone X" by TheBetterDay is licensed under CC BY-ND 2.0   Shut up and take my Money Image by Santiago Vecino   So it’s iPhone season again.  And despite the fact that they’re made in China – which I’m told have recently spawned some kind of supervirus or something…? I’m hearing a rumor here and there […] ...

RIP Simon, our, ahem, “beloved” Voiceover KittyRIP Simon, our, ahem, “beloved” Voiceover Kitty


And welcome to your beautiful tenth life...   I don’t like cats… I don’t.  I really don’t.  You really have to work hard for their affection, and they don’t ever seem to understand that I’m kind of a big deal.  In fact the very best depictions of how cats perceive humans are depictions where cats […] ...

You deserve a break today.You deserve a break today.


Take a break? Perish the thought! "Breather." by digitalpimp. is licensed under CC BY-ND 2.0     The Constant Type A Drive "3D Bullseye" by ccPixs.com is licensed under CC BY 2.0   I don’t read a lot, as I prefer all things digital, and ultimately, it’s far too many consonants and vowels for me, so I get tired. I do however read […] ...

I Hate Comcast. I Mean XFinity. I mean Comcast.I Hate Comcast. I Mean XFinity. I mean Comcast.


...so I'm doing something about it.   Well, "Hate" doesn’t quite sum it up I hate Comcast. As in want-to-do-things-to-them hatred.  As in I-don’t-care-if-you-changed-your-name-you’re-still-lousy-Comcast-in-disguise-and-no-rebranding-can-ever-save-you-as-I-press-this-scalding-firebrand-into-your-skin-hold-still-darn-you hate them. “But wait!” you say.  Aren’t they Xfinity now?  No. They just rebranded, which doesn’t really mean anything. They’re still the same old Comcast, marinated in cruelty, basted in barbarism, […] ...

A Moment of Silence for Bibbidi-Bobbidi-BooA Moment of Silence for Bibbidi-Bobbidi-Boo


GONE IS THE FANTASY "Success" by StickerGiant is licensed under CC BY 2.0     Nope...No Magic Wands Here "Day 255: Magic Wand" by amanky is licensed under CC BY-NC-ND 2.0   You got into voiceovers because you wanted to do something fun.  You thought it would be easy.  You thought if you just put yourself behind a mic, and made magical sounds, […] ...

Hey, a Voice Talent’s gotta eat…Hey, a Voice Talent’s gotta eat…


What’s your Flavor?   First order of business: survival. "EAT." by Andrew* is licensed under CC BY-SA 2.0   The question was recently posed on Facebook: “You wake up and you’re the last person on earth.  What’s the first thing you do?  Crying isn’t an option.”  Fortunately for me, I'm part Lumberjack with a Sam Elliott voice and a […] ...

Why I chose Voiceovers instead of Eternal TormentWhy I chose Voiceovers instead of Eternal Torment


A decision that required only .02693 Milliseconds "work" by Sean MacEntee is licensed under CC BY 2.0 What’s your Line? Mom always said I could be anything I wanted to be. People choose all kinds of lines of work.  Some people choose voiceovers.  Some choose to ascend tall electrical poles for the thrill of the zap. Others construct buildings. […] ...

Learn how to write – and THEN come back and hire meLearn how to write – and THEN come back and hire me


I just love me some crazy scripts and nonsensical grammar    Uh…holiday whobee-whatee? "Confused" by CollegeDegrees360 is licensed under CC BY-SA 2.0   Happy Labor Day!  Since we're celebrating a national day off of work, let's talk about how much work it can sometimes be to do...uh...work! You know those scripts.  The ones that don’t make any sense.  Riddled […] ...

Please Don’t Send Me To Collections!Please Don’t Send Me To Collections!


I’ve still got a score to settle Used by permission from weinstock via Pixabay   That Magical Place of No Return A long time ago, there existed a video production client.  His name, for the purposes of this story, was VideoProductionClientRalph.  Ralph (for short) owed a certain voiceover artist money.  And her name, was VoiceoverArtistYolanda.  […] ...

The Scintillating Saga of Victor & Vicky Voiceover and Carl the Curiously Coverless Covid-GuyThe Scintillating Saga of Victor & Vicky Voiceover and Carl the Curiously Coverless Covid-Guy


Available wherever quality fiction is sold   It’s our Grand Re-opening! What could go wrong!? Welcome to America, where we have everything you could ever want or need, and then a lot of things that you just don’t want, like ever.  Not even a little bit.  Things like: Covid-19 Michael Bolton music Waiters asking you […] ...

That does it. I’m running for President of the United States of AmericaThat does it. I’m running for President of the United States of America


I’m Joshua Alexander, and I approve this message. The time has come. It’s almost that time of year.  I think you know what I’m talking about, and I don’t mean the annual Arctic Tundra Cookoff Sponsored By Jimbob’s Spicy GreaseBurgers. The other thing.  That glorious time where we put off all forms of decorum and […] ...

How to become a Voiceover GajillionaireHow to become a Voiceover Gajillionaire


A Get-Rich-Quick Guide Used by permission from PublicDomainPictures via Pixabay   Follow my 5 easy steps It’s a different world now.  If you consider all the craziness that has happened since 2020 began, we’re on pace to start protesting about pandemics of impeached murder hornets soon. I think it’s time to inject a little disinfectant. […] ...

“Honey I have an idea – let’s move in the middle of a global pandemic!”“Honey I have an idea – let’s move in the middle of a global pandemic!”


And other dumb things I've said. To move or not to move: that is the question. So my wife and I are in the process of looking for homes.  Or, to be more precise, we were in the process, before we both started not finding what we each wanted, not liking the other’s choices, foaming […] ...

When life gives you Murder Hornets, you make Murder Hornet LemonadeWhen life gives you Murder Hornets, you make Murder Hornet Lemonade


...or…some other title that’s fitting "murder hornet 2, face_2020-10-01-18.55.04 ZS PMax UDR" by Sam Droege is marked with Public Domain Mark 1.0.   Because a Global Coronavirus Pandemic just wasn’t enough We're in the thick of it now.  A teacher missed her classroom so much that she knitted all of her students, which is another way of saying, […] ...

Father forgive me, for I have spammedFather forgive me, for I have spammed


Guilty as charged   I’m Joshua Alexander.  And I’m a spammer.  (“Hi, Josh…”) Well, I covered telemarketing, so it’s only fitting that now we talk about everyone’s favorite source of daily disgruntlement: the email spammer! But first, let’s zoom out and really examine Spam.  What is Spam anyway?  When we crack open a can of […] ...