Category: Updates

Staycations and Axe-MurdersStaycations and Axe-Murders


...and the inextricable link between them "camping staycation" by hownowdesign is licensed under CC BY-NC-ND 2.0   I tried. I really tried. That’s all I can say.  I really, really tried to have an enjoyable staycation and not do any work.  It was all out of purely goodwill and good intentions, which is another way of saying I mean […] ...

It’s Not You, It’s MeIt’s Not You, It’s Me


…but it’s really You "Ruth Roman in Bitter Victory (1957) #1" by Classic_Movie_Gals is licensed under CC BY 2.0   From There to Here Warning!  Gratuitously and unusually UN-funny blog ahead!  Read at your own laughter’s peril! Here goes… Reconciliation is a long road.  It starts with an offense and ends with an apology, or, at the very least, […] ...

The Intrepid Tale of a Voiceover Artist iPhone-Addict GuyThe Intrepid Tale of a Voiceover Artist iPhone-Addict Guy


Don’t judge me. "iPhone X" by TheBetterDay is licensed under CC BY-ND 2.0   Shut up and take my Money Image by Santiago Vecino   So it’s iPhone season again.  And despite the fact that they’re made in China – which I’m told have recently spawned some kind of supervirus or something…? I’m hearing a rumor here and there […] ...

RIP Simon, our, ahem, “beloved” Voiceover KittyRIP Simon, our, ahem, “beloved” Voiceover Kitty


And welcome to your beautiful tenth life...   I don’t like cats… I don’t.  I really don’t.  You really have to work hard for their affection, and they don’t ever seem to understand that I’m kind of a big deal.  In fact the very best depictions of how cats perceive humans are depictions where cats […] ...

You deserve a break today.You deserve a break today.


Take a break? Perish the thought! "Breather." by digitalpimp. is licensed under CC BY-ND 2.0     The Constant Type A Drive "3D Bullseye" by ccPixs.com is licensed under CC BY 2.0   I don’t read a lot, as I prefer all things digital, and ultimately, it’s far too many consonants and vowels for me, so I get tired. I do however read […] ...

I Hate Comcast. I Mean XFinity. I mean Comcast.I Hate Comcast. I Mean XFinity. I mean Comcast.


...so I'm doing something about it.   Well, "Hate" doesn’t quite sum it up I hate Comcast. As in want-to-do-things-to-them hatred.  As in I-don’t-care-if-you-changed-your-name-you’re-still-lousy-Comcast-in-disguise-and-no-rebranding-can-ever-save-you-as-I-press-this-scalding-firebrand-into-your-skin-hold-still-darn-you hate them. “But wait!” you say.  Aren’t they Xfinity now?  No. They just rebranded, which doesn’t really mean anything. They’re still the same old Comcast, marinated in cruelty, basted in barbarism, […] ...

A Moment of Silence for Bibbidi-Bobbidi-BooA Moment of Silence for Bibbidi-Bobbidi-Boo


GONE IS THE FANTASY "Success" by StickerGiant is licensed under CC BY 2.0     Nope...No Magic Wands Here "Day 255: Magic Wand" by amanky is licensed under CC BY-NC-ND 2.0   You got into voiceovers because you wanted to do something fun.  You thought it would be easy.  You thought if you just put yourself behind a mic, and made magical sounds, […] ...

Hey, a Voice Talent’s gotta eat…Hey, a Voice Talent’s gotta eat…


What’s your Flavor?   First order of business: survival. "EAT." by Andrew* is licensed under CC BY-SA 2.0   The question was recently posed on Facebook: “You wake up and you’re the last person on earth.  What’s the first thing you do?  Crying isn’t an option.”  Fortunately for me, I'm part Lumberjack with a Sam Elliott voice and a […] ...

Why I chose Voiceovers instead of Eternal TormentWhy I chose Voiceovers instead of Eternal Torment


A decision that required only .02693 Milliseconds "work" by Sean MacEntee is licensed under CC BY 2.0 What’s your Line? Mom always said I could be anything I wanted to be. People choose all kinds of lines of work.  Some people choose voiceovers.  Some choose to ascend tall electrical poles for the thrill of the zap. Others construct buildings. […] ...

Learn how to write – and THEN come back and hire meLearn how to write – and THEN come back and hire me


I just love me some crazy scripts and nonsensical grammar    Uh…holiday whobee-whatee? "Confused" by CollegeDegrees360 is licensed under CC BY-SA 2.0   Happy Labor Day!  Since we're celebrating a national day off of work, let's talk about how much work it can sometimes be to do...uh...work! You know those scripts.  The ones that don’t make any sense.  Riddled […] ...

Please Don’t Send Me To Collections!Please Don’t Send Me To Collections!


I’ve still got a score to settle Used by permission from weinstock via Pixabay   That Magical Place of No Return A long time ago, there existed a video production client.  His name, for the purposes of this story, was VideoProductionClientRalph.  Ralph (for short) owed a certain voiceover artist money.  And her name, was VoiceoverArtistYolanda.  […] ...

The Scintillating Saga of Victor & Vicky Voiceover and Carl the Curiously Coverless Covid-GuyThe Scintillating Saga of Victor & Vicky Voiceover and Carl the Curiously Coverless Covid-Guy


Available wherever quality fiction is sold   It’s our Grand Re-opening! What could go wrong!? Welcome to America, where we have everything you could ever want or need, and then a lot of things that you just don’t want, like ever.  Not even a little bit.  Things like: Covid-19 Michael Bolton music Waiters asking you […] ...

That does it. I’m running for President of the United States of AmericaThat does it. I’m running for President of the United States of America


I’m Joshua Alexander, and I approve this message. The time has come. It’s almost that time of year.  I think you know what I’m talking about, and I don’t mean the annual Arctic Tundra Cookoff Sponsored By Jimbob’s Spicy GreaseBurgers. The other thing.  That glorious time where we put off all forms of decorum and […] ...

How to become a Voiceover GajillionaireHow to become a Voiceover Gajillionaire


A Get-Rich-Quick Guide Used by permission from PublicDomainPictures via Pixabay   Follow my 5 easy steps It’s a different world now.  If you consider all the craziness that has happened since 2020 began, we’re on pace to start protesting about pandemics of impeached murder hornets soon. I think it’s time to inject a little disinfectant. […] ...

“Honey I have an idea – let’s move in the middle of a global pandemic!”“Honey I have an idea – let’s move in the middle of a global pandemic!”


And other dumb things I've said. To move or not to move: that is the question. So my wife and I are in the process of looking for homes.  Or, to be more precise, we were in the process, before we both started not finding what we each wanted, not liking the other’s choices, foaming […] ...

When life gives you Murder Hornets, you make Murder Hornet LemonadeWhen life gives you Murder Hornets, you make Murder Hornet Lemonade


...or…some other title that’s fitting "murder hornet 2, face_2020-10-01-18.55.04 ZS PMax UDR" by Sam Droege is marked with Public Domain Mark 1.0.   Because a Global Coronavirus Pandemic just wasn’t enough We're in the thick of it now.  A teacher missed her classroom so much that she knitted all of her students, which is another way of saying, […] ...

Father forgive me, for I have spammedFather forgive me, for I have spammed


Guilty as charged   I’m Joshua Alexander.  And I’m a spammer.  (“Hi, Josh…”) Well, I covered telemarketing, so it’s only fitting that now we talk about everyone’s favorite source of daily disgruntlement: the email spammer! But first, let’s zoom out and really examine Spam.  What is Spam anyway?  When we crack open a can of […] ...

May I speak with the person in charge of your Voiceovers?May I speak with the person in charge of your Voiceovers?


Voiceovers & Telemarketers Used by permission from mohamed_hassan via Pixabay   The Telemarketing Golden Years How did I get started in voiceovers? Sit back, pull up a mug of something light and refreshing, and let me regale you with a tale of old.  Because I’m now old.  And tales are cool. The year was 1993. […] ...

My Interview with Voiceover Coach & Demo Producer Scott Burns!My Interview with Voiceover Coach & Demo Producer Scott Burns!


It's here! The still frame says it all - he and I smile a lot together.  Check out my recent interviews with my beloved coach, the illustrious Scott W. Burns!! We had a ball as usual. Check 'em out and give Scott a call or email for coaching or demo production. If you're looking for […] ...

The Voiceover Guy and the Attack of the Killer PreschoolersThe Voiceover Guy and the Attack of the Killer Preschoolers


A True Story Used by permission from Clker-Free-Vector-Images via Pixabay   Now I know what Arnold felt like What you are about to read is the firsthand account of where I literally almost died.  I am not making this up.  Where I, a grownup, found myself overrun by a savage classroom of bloodthirsty and carnivorous […] ...

My Interview With Mr. Nethervoice, Paul Strikwerda!My Interview With Mr. Nethervoice, Paul Strikwerda!


The Man, The Myth, The Legend I had the EXTREME pleasure of interviewing Paul Strikwerda, aka "Nethervoice" today.  Paul is a very humble man with a powerful story, and years upon years of VO insight. Paul has survived a stroke AND a career in radio and TV.  He's got lots of stories to tell, and […] ...

Welcome to Voiceover Manners 101Welcome to Voiceover Manners 101


Your Guide for Human Etiquette in the 21st Century   It’s pronounced “Peath” My preschooler.  Such a dynamo. Brennan is still learning English, so you can’t fault him.  He is not yet 4, so he is still essentially enrolled in English-as-a-second-language, since his primary language is dribble-drool-goo-goo-gah-gah-squeal-wah.  My favorite thing he says, when asked if […] ...

Thank goodness I do Voiceovers only for ExposureThank goodness I do Voiceovers only for Exposure


It’s all about publicity and goodwill, right? Used by permission from geralt via Pixabay   Voiceovers and Charity There once was a voice talent named Jack who loved to promote his knack To clients that we’d love to whack due to expectations that are whack. This poem has been brought to you as a courtesy […] ...

There Can Be Only One…Voiceover ArtistThere Can Be Only One…Voiceover Artist


If your head comes away from your audition…it’s over Hackings and beheadings: O What Fun! Once upon a time there comes along a movie that blows you away with its incredible ideologies.  I’m talking about Terminator.  The Matrix.  Inception.  Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure.  Movies with concepts that are beyond the scope of mortal thinking. […] ...

Voiceover Soccer Mom status: ACHIEVED.Voiceover Soccer Mom status: ACHIEVED.


The True Story of One Man, a Van…and a life forever changed.  A Hallmark Original.   Never Say Never I once said “Never.”  That is never a good thing to say.  “I’ll never own a van, and you’ll never make me!”  (…and other things once quoted by Joshua Alexander….on sale now wherever quality books are […] ...

Pardon me while I go streaking with ElvesPardon me while I go streaking with Elves


So much to do, so little time "Camping_Dorset72" by jjay69 is licensed under CC BY-NC-SA 2.0.   Holiday Cheer So the holidays are upon us, and once again, mirth is creeping at our doorstep.  Reds and greens are starting to pop up in stores, and I’m pretty sure I heard an office lobby daring to brazenly play a […] ...

A Day in the Life of a Voiceover DadaA Day in the Life of a Voiceover Dada


Breathe, Josh.  Just Breathe. 4am: Awake, reluctantly, due to Baby noise. Pray for precious silence as heart beats wildly with tension-filled anxiety. 4:01am: Infant thankfully goes back to sleep. Resolve to pretend that you too are sleeping the next time this happens, so that wife will get him. 4:26am: Infant cries out again.  Manufacture the […] ...

Succinctly Speaking about Smoldering WicksSuccinctly Speaking about Smoldering Wicks


…So enjoy while ye mayeth Used by permission from Myriams-Fotos via Pixabay   Millenia Later It’s been said, “What’s worse than a blog?  A blooooooogggggg…”  OK, OK, I myself just said that; no one else did.  But someday, millennia from now, the Great Leader will summon his Imperius Commander whilst suspending in the Floating Caverns […] ...