(...VO Atlanta) 753 Days Later I boarded the plane bound for the southeast, passing by those in First Class and briefly thinking to myself, "Snooty rich folk in their snooty seats! I want one." I dimly noted the look given me by one of the snooty passengers as I, the lowly steerage, made my […] ...
Category: Updates
An Easter Egg Hunt To Dye For (Get it? GET IT???)An Easter Egg Hunt To Dye For (Get it? GET IT???)
Candy, eggs and bunnies, oh my! Note: No! No! Look at the KIDS! Not the fat man, the KIDS!!! Addendum: Picture was taken with a wide-angle lens. Disclaimer: I had just eaten a bowling ball for lunch. Sidebar: The KIDS, dangit, the KIDS!!!! Room to move…and hunt Most of my readers know that we […] ...
HELP! I’ve been SHOT!HELP! I’ve been SHOT!
But C3PO: see? 3 hours...not PO’d Hit me with your best Shot It was finally time. Pardon me. Allow me to rephrase that. FREAKING FINALLY, IT WAS FINALLY FREAKING TIME. It had been over a year since an epidemic had graduated to pandemic status, and the start of the barrage of sweet reverb-laden piano […] ...
I’d like to introduce you to The Greatest Voiceover Artist Of All TimeI’d like to introduce you to The Greatest Voiceover Artist Of All Time
You may already know Him "Question mark made of puzzle pieces" by Horia Varlan is licensed under CC BY 2.0 I am envious, and I like it Look. All blogs from The Voice Actor Blog are supposed to be a comical interlude to your week. A refreshing break from the maddening norm of auditioning-marketing-recording-rinse-repeat. Inspirational in nature. […] ...
Are you a Voiceover Dinkleboo?Are you a Voiceover Dinkleboo?
Yes. I said Dinkleboo. That Personal Touch I was about six or seven years old, I think. My uncle was very generous, and he gave us three boys a gift that I remember to this day. Where it is now, I cannot tell you, because I am sure, like many things in life, it […] ...
An Unbloggy Blogless Voiceover Blog full of Bloggy BlognessAn Unbloggy Blogless Voiceover Blog full of Bloggy Blogness
The Best of the Recent Rest "BLOG IDEAS" by owenwbrown is licensed under CC BY 2.0 You know you're busy when... Ever have no time to blog, or do any other precious activity? Well. As it was my wife's and my 9th wedding anniversary this past week (do I hear a Beatles "Number Nine" coming on?)... ...and […] ...
Jimmy Crack Audio, And I Do CareJimmy Crack Audio, And I Do Care
Snap Crackle Pop "Cool audio waves" by qubodup is licensed under CC BY 2.0 How a Space Shuttle got sick ^ The above is a picture of me the day I surrendered my masculinity and bought a minivan. ^ I love my van. I do not pretend to be a masculine, burly, Ford F150-loving He-Man, although […] ...
The Hokey-Pokey Voice TalentThe Hokey-Pokey Voice Talent
"FICKL" by ♔ Georgie R is licensed under CC BY-ND 2.0 Put your Whole Self in, why don't you? There is no Try "Yoda Fountain at the Presidio, San Francisco" by sw77 is licensed under CC BY-SA 2.0 You know him. You love him. He is small and green, and frankly, adorable. I am not talking about Regis Philbin. […] ...
No Thanks. I Already Know Everything.No Thanks. I Already Know Everything.
Arrogance at its Finest All Hail The Know-It-Alls He is known only as…Know-It-All. Dressed in yellow pajamas, with short-cropped hair and bullet-proof glasses that magnify his nearly-crossed eyeballs into the size of small moons, Eddie Deezen’s character in The Polar Express is simultaneously obnoxious, cute and annoying. Obnoxious: because he knows everything and […] ...
Please Don’t Encase Me In CarbonitePlease Don’t Encase Me In Carbonite
Or Ziploc. Or Hibernation. Or Suspended Animation. Or Anything. I don't want to get stuck. First things first: let us settle a little debate. The Empire Strikes Back is the best Star Wars movie of all time. For those of you who feel that The Attack of the Clones is the best one, the trap […] ...
The 10-Mile VoiceoverThe 10-Mile Voiceover
Pressing Onward It all started with a Birthday Mark is in shape. He’s a fit man who just turned 34. So hiking is, for him, completely expected and normal, and will not leave him huffing on the ground like a sweaty upturned hippo. I am not saying that is what happened to me, but […] ...
Hey! It’s a WAY OK PSA Foray Essay Day! YAY!Hey! It’s a WAY OK PSA Foray Essay Day! YAY!
(aka One Man's Journey Into Voiceovers) A Long Time Ago, in, well, a city right next door It was 1993. I was all of 20 years old. I was thin. I am no longer thin. But bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, I was ready take on the world. To tackle the world. To annoy the world. […] ...
Accursed Red Badges and Pavlov’s DogAccursed Red Badges and Pavlov’s Dog
Our Conditioned Responsiveness It’s a Dilemma, Truly "a dilemma" by Julia Manzerova is licensed under CC BY-ND 2.0 I recently watched The Social Dilemma for a romantic date night with my wife. I assure you this is because Transformers: Dark of the Moon - the ultimate love movie - was out of rotation. We’d wanted to for […] ...
I Hate CommunityI Hate Community
…and statistics. And statistics about community. "Wyverstone Community Cafe" by oatsy40 is licensed under CC BY 2.0 The Revulsion of Community "Moontribe-Party - Gathering of the Tribes - 2001 *" by Sterneck is licensed under CC BY-NC-SA 2.0 I was reminded today, yet again, how much I hate community. Now, I know what you’re thinking. We don’t hate. When […] ...
How Not To Fly A Drone Into A TreeHow Not To Fly A Drone Into A Tree
Written by a guy who flew his drone into a tree The Tragedy So I crashed my drone into a tree and stranded it there in the rain, because #skills. And just like a “frame” in medias res movie that starts at the end and then flashes back to the beginning and explains the […] ...
Does this mask make me look fat?Does this mask make me look fat?
It's time to Feel That Burn. Back to the Future "exercise" by Sarah Oh is licensed under CC BY-NC-SA 2.0 Well, we reached the end at last. The season finale of The Mandalorian Season 2 where Baby Yoda gets rescued, Luke Skywalker returns, a bunch of dark troopers get smashed on, and Joshua Alexander realizes that he […] ...
Staycations and Axe-MurdersStaycations and Axe-Murders
...and the inextricable link between them "camping staycation" by hownowdesign is licensed under CC BY-NC-ND 2.0 I tried. I really tried. That’s all I can say. I really, really tried to have an enjoyable staycation and not do any work. It was all out of purely goodwill and good intentions, which is another way of saying I mean […] ...
It’s Not You, It’s MeIt’s Not You, It’s Me
…but it’s really You "Ruth Roman in Bitter Victory (1957) #1" by Classic_Movie_Gals is licensed under CC BY 2.0 From There to Here Warning! Gratuitously and unusually UN-funny blog ahead! Read at your own laughter’s peril! Here goes… Reconciliation is a long road. It starts with an offense and ends with an apology, or, at the very least, […] ...
I Hate BurpeesI Hate Burpees
To be clear, I hate burpees "Exercise LP" by kevin dooley is licensed under CC BY 2.0 Some things simply should not be I'd like to preface this blog by stating emphatically, in no uncertain terms, that exercise (see definition: cruel and unusual punishment ) is of the devil (see definition: exercise). I mean, let’s be honest. There […] ...
I put Santa on the Naughty ListI put Santa on the Naughty List
Because NO: he did NOT come to town. A Most Necessary Update Well, here we are. It’s the holiday season once again, and that brings me to some unfortunate conclusions that I am compelled to address. It is time to peel the onion of illusion of that great gift-giver himself, Mr. Santa F. Claus […] ...
Rock The Vote!Rock The Vote!
Why this Voice Talent voted the way he did Gotta love Politics First of all, allow me to congratulate you on making it through last week, and not going all-out-psycho and killing everyone with a hammer. Who did I vote for? It was an easy choice, really, when you think about it. There were […] ...
The Intrepid Tale of a Voiceover Artist iPhone-Addict GuyThe Intrepid Tale of a Voiceover Artist iPhone-Addict Guy
Don’t judge me. "iPhone X" by TheBetterDay is licensed under CC BY-ND 2.0 Shut up and take my Money Image by Santiago Vecino So it’s iPhone season again. And despite the fact that they’re made in China – which I’m told have recently spawned some kind of supervirus or something…? I’m hearing a rumor here and there […] ...
RIP Simon, our, ahem, “beloved” Voiceover KittyRIP Simon, our, ahem, “beloved” Voiceover Kitty
And welcome to your beautiful tenth life... I don’t like cats… I don’t. I really don’t. You really have to work hard for their affection, and they don’t ever seem to understand that I’m kind of a big deal. In fact the very best depictions of how cats perceive humans are depictions where cats […] ...
You deserve a break today.You deserve a break today.
Take a break? Perish the thought! "Breather." by digitalpimp. is licensed under CC BY-ND 2.0 The Constant Type A Drive "3D Bullseye" by ccPixs.com is licensed under CC BY 2.0 I don’t read a lot, as I prefer all things digital, and ultimately, it’s far too many consonants and vowels for me, so I get tired. I do however read […] ...
I Hate Comcast. I Mean XFinity. I mean Comcast.I Hate Comcast. I Mean XFinity. I mean Comcast.
...so I'm doing something about it. Well, "Hate" doesn’t quite sum it up I hate Comcast. As in want-to-do-things-to-them hatred. As in I-don’t-care-if-you-changed-your-name-you’re-still-lousy-Comcast-in-disguise-and-no-rebranding-can-ever-save-you-as-I-press-this-scalding-firebrand-into-your-skin-hold-still-darn-you hate them. “But wait!” you say. Aren’t they Xfinity now? No. They just rebranded, which doesn’t really mean anything. They’re still the same old Comcast, marinated in cruelty, basted in barbarism, […] ...
A Moment of Silence for Bibbidi-Bobbidi-BooA Moment of Silence for Bibbidi-Bobbidi-Boo
GONE IS THE FANTASY "Success" by StickerGiant is licensed under CC BY 2.0 Nope...No Magic Wands Here "Day 255: Magic Wand" by amanky is licensed under CC BY-NC-ND 2.0 You got into voiceovers because you wanted to do something fun. You thought it would be easy. You thought if you just put yourself behind a mic, and made magical sounds, […] ...
Hey, a Voice Talent’s gotta eat…Hey, a Voice Talent’s gotta eat…
What’s your Flavor? First order of business: survival. "EAT." by Andrew* is licensed under CC BY-SA 2.0 The question was recently posed on Facebook: “You wake up and you’re the last person on earth. What’s the first thing you do? Crying isn’t an option.” Fortunately for me, I'm part Lumberjack with a Sam Elliott voice and a […] ...
Why I chose Voiceovers instead of Eternal TormentWhy I chose Voiceovers instead of Eternal Torment
A decision that required only .02693 Milliseconds "work" by Sean MacEntee is licensed under CC BY 2.0 What’s your Line? Mom always said I could be anything I wanted to be. People choose all kinds of lines of work. Some people choose voiceovers. Some choose to ascend tall electrical poles for the thrill of the zap. Others construct buildings. […] ...
Learn how to write – and THEN come back and hire meLearn how to write – and THEN come back and hire me
I just love me some crazy scripts and nonsensical grammar Uh…holiday whobee-whatee? "Confused" by CollegeDegrees360 is licensed under CC BY-SA 2.0 Happy Labor Day! Since we're celebrating a national day off of work, let's talk about how much work it can sometimes be to do...uh...work! You know those scripts. The ones that don’t make any sense. Riddled […] ...
I’ll give you free Voiceover work!I’ll give you free Voiceover work!
With a side of Shame and a medium Guiltshake The Downside of the Upside Photo by Tanja Bruckner, 2017. Free Work. I like to do it as much as I like having my eye poked out with a searing hot firebrand. It's not that I'm uncharitable or a hardened cynic, don't care or don't […] ...
Voiceovers and Moving Don’t MixVoiceovers and Moving Don’t Mix
Because…Duh. It was not a "moving" experience We decided to move. And heck, we figured, "there's no better time to move than during a global pandemic." And as a voiceover artist, I like to keep it uber-interesting. So! With that, we began our search. We found the one we wanted on May 6th: our […] ...
Please Don’t Send Me To Collections!Please Don’t Send Me To Collections!
I’ve still got a score to settle Used by permission from weinstock via Pixabay That Magical Place of No Return A long time ago, there existed a video production client. His name, for the purposes of this story, was VideoProductionClientRalph. Ralph (for short) owed a certain voiceover artist money. And her name, was VoiceoverArtistYolanda. […] ...
The Scintillating Saga of Victor & Vicky Voiceover and Carl the Curiously Coverless Covid-GuyThe Scintillating Saga of Victor & Vicky Voiceover and Carl the Curiously Coverless Covid-Guy
Available wherever quality fiction is sold It’s our Grand Re-opening! What could go wrong!? Welcome to America, where we have everything you could ever want or need, and then a lot of things that you just don’t want, like ever. Not even a little bit. Things like: Covid-19 Michael Bolton music Waiters asking you […] ...
I’m leaving on a Voiceover JetplaneI’m leaving on a Voiceover Jetplane
Don’t know when I’ll be back again Used by permission from dayamay via Pixabay Yep…still moving If you’ve been following my blog - and I have no idea why you wouldn't do such a thing - then you’ll know we’re moving. By that I don't mean that people are emotionally impacted by listening to […] ...
How to Survive a Pandemic if you’re a Voice TalentHow to Survive a Pandemic if you’re a Voice Talent
(And not eat your relatives) Caution: I am not a scholar. Or a scientist. Or a theologian. Or a doctor. Or a psychologist. Or psychiatrist. Or an advisor of any kind. In fact, I may not have any real solid answers for you, but at least we'll laugh together along our path to oblivion. […] ...
That does it. I’m running for President of the United States of AmericaThat does it. I’m running for President of the United States of America
I’m Joshua Alexander, and I approve this message. The time has come. It’s almost that time of year. I think you know what I’m talking about, and I don’t mean the annual Arctic Tundra Cookoff Sponsored By Jimbob’s Spicy GreaseBurgers. The other thing. That glorious time where we put off all forms of decorum and […] ...
You Don’t Tell Me What To Do!You Don’t Tell Me What To Do!
I'm telling! (Get it?) Used by permission from mohamed_hassan via Pixabay I make the Rules Remember your childhood? Life was fresh and new. The smell of green grass was in the air. Your bicycle had those playing cards strapped to the seatstays or fork to make it sound like a motor when it hit […] ...
How to become a Voiceover GajillionaireHow to become a Voiceover Gajillionaire
A Get-Rich-Quick Guide Used by permission from PublicDomainPictures via Pixabay Follow my 5 easy steps It’s a different world now. If you consider all the craziness that has happened since 2020 began, we’re on pace to start protesting about pandemics of impeached murder hornets soon. I think it’s time to inject a little disinfectant. […] ...
How to date a Voiceover ArtistHow to date a Voiceover Artist
Written by a dated Voiceover Artist An entry from a non-mind-wiped married male These are strange times. Dare I say “uncertain times”? No, I dare not say that, because that has truly been said enough…certainly so much so that I’m certain that I'm able to certainly say, “these are certainly uncertain times.” I get […] ...
“Honey I have an idea – let’s move in the middle of a global pandemic!”“Honey I have an idea – let’s move in the middle of a global pandemic!”
And other dumb things I've said. To move or not to move: that is the question. So my wife and I are in the process of looking for homes. Or, to be more precise, we were in the process, before we both started not finding what we each wanted, not liking the other’s choices, foaming […] ...
A Blogger’s Blog about BloggingA Blogger’s Blog about Blogging
Why we do what we do…and when we do it. And also where. And how. Used by permission from KevinKing via Pixabay Blogging…why? Why do I blog? I suppose because there was a time where it dawned on me that I should stop building suspension bridges in my backyard because I was annoying the […] ...
A Leap Forward to Look BackA Leap Forward to Look Back
Confused yet? Used by permission from mohamed_hassan via Pixabay Much to give thanks for Today is my birthday! I’m 23…uh…again! And as my all-time favorite book and movie trilogy is The Lord of the Rings, it’s appropriate to quote The Gaffer at the end of The Lord of the Rings trilogy, when he says […] ...
When life gives you Murder Hornets, you make Murder Hornet LemonadeWhen life gives you Murder Hornets, you make Murder Hornet Lemonade
...or…some other title that’s fitting "murder hornet 2, face_2020-10-01-18.55.04 ZS PMax UDR" by Sam Droege is marked with Public Domain Mark 1.0. Because a Global Coronavirus Pandemic just wasn’t enough We're in the thick of it now. A teacher missed her classroom so much that she knitted all of her students, which is another way of saying, […] ...
There can be miracles…when you believeThere can be miracles…when you believe
And not just in animated movies. Used by permission from GDJ via Pixabay Houston and Carey had it right In 1998’s The Prince of Egypt, a wonderful song was delivered by two pop divas. No, not Ethel Merman and Jessica Rabbit. The other two divas: Whitney Houston and Mariah Carey. I’m talking about the […] ...
M-m-m-my CoronaM-m-m-my Corona
Used by permission from geralt via Pixabay A surprise Coronavirus upgrade The proof is in the crazy pudding My oh my how COVID-19 has wreaked havoc on our world. It’s been a frustrating time, a crazy time, a stressful time, and a sad time. In all sincerity, it’s been of Biblical proportions. Whoever […] ...
Every Day is an Easter Egg HuntEvery Day is an Easter Egg Hunt
It’s not just a myth anymore! Kids and Hunts My preschooler is four. This is commonly known as the age where all parents everywhere become utterly committed, in all parental love, to renouncing all ownership and claim to preschoolers. But we’re sticking it out because we love the little guy, and also because we […] ...
Father forgive me, for I have spammedFather forgive me, for I have spammed
Guilty as charged I’m Joshua Alexander. And I’m a spammer. (“Hi, Josh…”) Well, I covered telemarketing, so it’s only fitting that now we talk about everyone’s favorite source of daily disgruntlement: the email spammer! But first, let’s zoom out and really examine Spam. What is Spam anyway? When we crack open a can of […] ...
Coronavirus: I got itCoronavirus: I got it
Used by permission from padrinan via Pixabay I finally got it Now that was some darn good click-bait I finally got Covid-19. As in: I finally understood it. I’ve been angry. I’ve been depressed. I’ve been frantic and worried. I’ve been nervous and sleepless. I want to squeeze things until they pop. Honey, take […] ...
Voiceovers rule and Weddings suckVoiceovers rule and Weddings suck
Wedding and Voicing and Writing Oh My! Rather than send out two blog posts back to back, here's a sidebar announcement: Did you get my book yet? "VOICEOVERS: A Super Business ∙ A Super Life", my 310-page independently published book, is now available for order! Now back to our regularly scheduled program already in progress. […] ...
What To Do When You’re MaleWhat To Do When You’re Male
Written by a Male for Males Used by permission from Clker-Free-Vector-Images via Pixabay It’s hard being a Dude When you think about it, it’s difficult being a human. I would much rather be a tiny tardigrade (I’ve talked about them before) because apparently they’re indestructible, even if you send them to the moon and […] ...
