Read, or enjoy the audio version below...
Warning! I am a satirist! If you do not have a sense of humor or are easily-offended, these blogs may not be for you. May I interest you in an innocuous episode of Peppa Pig instead?
A Season To Remember...And Forget
The Joshpire Strikes Back. The Return of The Joshi. Star Joshs.
To quote Samwise Gamgee: "Well, I'm back." I am sure you have missed me. (This is where you post a comment saying how much you have missed me. I will be right here waiting when you get back.)
Hey! Good to see you again.
I intentionally took a hiatus from blogging, because I very much enjoy using the word hiatus. Also it directly followed my award-winning and galaxy-influencing blog which I am sure you have read by now, entitled “There ARE points for Second Place.” It is located at my award-winning blog, The Voices In My Head, and is written by me, an award-winning blogger, according to an Award Poll I have just created.
As you can clearly see, I have lost none of my charm nor my confidence, which I have in spades according to a Spade Poll I have just created. But confidence – ah! That perhaps is the key word that we will deal with today, as I make my triumphant return.
Seriously, thank you to all of you who chimed in and affirmed my need for R&R, and a break following my last blog. I deeply appreciated it.
Truth be told, I lost some confidence and spiraled into a bit of a depression. This depression decided to descend slowly and heavily upon my psyche like a vicious powder keg thunderstorm raincloud with iridescent visuals and visceral thunderclaps that can loosen your stool with the power of a 9.5 temblor along the San Andreas Fault armed with a bad attitude and a debt collection bill from the US Treasury on a Friday just as you got off work and were hoping to skip traffic but there is a 50-car-pileup and you are fresh out of smokes as every radio station ironically plays only Tracy Chapman's "Fast Car" and you slowly slip into madness. There will be a quiz later. Also earthquakes make me temble, which I assure you is a word, according to a Word Poll I have just created.
The truth of the matter is that beginning before Christmas, after having a giant winter cough that kept me struggling for a few weeks to clear my throat, I happened upon a near five-week dry spell in voiceovers. Now, I am well-aware that things slow down somewhat around the holidays, much like my father’s driving habits, who is known to accelerate all the way to near-snail-speed on freeways. If you ever need him as a bank robbery getaway driver, I would suggest enlisting the help of someone who has an actual need for speed, as opposed to my dad. Follow me for more burglary tips.
I have an acute awareness that my dry spells are different from others’ dry spells, and that it is occasionally good to employ the use of “acute” in my blogs. Also "acute hiatus" sounds like something you catch by not using protection.
However, this dry spell continued on for much longer than is typical. I have high expectations for myself, and when I failed to reach my weekly goal for five weeks in a row, that took a teency-weency toll on me, in the same way that one being forced to listen to Michael Bolton on a punishing loop and being tied to a hot stake while slathered with beef juice and consumed by fire ants might take a teency-weency toll on them.
Nonetheless, I pushed through, and I have returned. I view my return as somewhat akin to the triumphant return of a gallant Jedi Knight or Jedi Master, according to a Jedi Poll I have just created.
It All Started When…
When I was not asked to speak at VO Atlanta 2023, I felt snubbed. It has seemed, on occasion, like there is somewhat of a “Voiceover Illuminati” if you will, that call the shots in terms of these events. Knowing that I give so much to the VO community, that I seek to inspire and exhort, and was left out anyway, facilitating the perpetuation of seeing the same exact speakers that everyone continues to see over and over again, and yet leaving out someone who constantly strives to encourage and inspire, felt extraordinarily difficult to bear. However, I also suspect these things require difficult decision-making working rotations, and I do understand that.
Additionally, I took an emotional bummer this past fall when I was disallowed from posting my blog in a notable Facebook group I was involved in, and I was told it was due to "streamlining content" or "curating feeds." However, it appeared other notable blogging colleagues (aka “bloggeagues”) were still allowed to post theirs there. This would seem to be a double-standard, which is baffling, in the same way that Carrot Top being allowed to be a celebrity continues to baffle me. I have run into these "double-standard blog-embargos" before in other groups.
I am not a fan of double-standards, nor of politics. (I plan to vote for Frodo and Sam in 2024.) The same rules should apply to all; otherwise it reeks of favoritism and ostracization. (PSA: Ostracization is not the process of turning into a giant bird.) Being on the outside looking in is something I find difficult to stomach, as I have always tried my very hardest to inspire and encourage, and yet, time and time again, my offerings get rejected, invariably; I am apparently seen by some as a ‘rogue’, or an 'anomaly', and I am not included, even though I am a Voiceover Superstar, at least, according to a Voiceover Superstar Poll I have just created.
So, I made the decision to pull out of VO Atlanta's 10th anniversary, a hard move though it be. Hard, because I would dearly miss several colleagues that I care about and appreciate. Hard, because seeing these humans, many of whom are going through the same things, is chicken soup for the soul, and is needed, since our careers are usually spent isolated in a box.
Snubbed. That is how I felt. It seems that I am not part of the “Cool Kids Club.” The whole thing feels relatively cliquish. It seems hierarchical and tier-oriented, of "bests and worsts", allowed and disallowed, in and out, etc. It renders the word "community" ...a bit suspect. In truth, it is as though for many years now I have been beating my head against the wall to be able to give, share and teach, as those are gifts that I know I have been empowered with. I am established. People know and respect me. I have a large following. Yet when it comes to a sense of feeling that “I have arrived”, I am still not there. Others have arrived, and yet here I stand again at the gates, patiently knocking. In fairness, however, I will also add that I have an overload of drive and determination to advance. I am, after all, a man who is manly and does manly man things. Where did I leave my flannel and my chainsaw.
As an additional addendum, I would like to add that I mean ZERO disrespect, and this blog is not in any way an attack on the Collinses as the CEO's and planners of of VO Atlanta. I am more concerned with what appear to be certain "systems" in place.
I have much more that I can say, but after all of this, suffice it to say that I received the very best word I could have received, from a good friend and mentor, Liz Atherton. She told me (and this is a direct quote):
“Others’ endorsement of you -or lack thereof-
has very little to do with your trajectory.”
WHOA NELLIE did I need to hear that. I needed it like Def Leppard needed someone so bad. I needed it like Baby needed Johnny. Like Pyramus needed Thisbe. Like Oreos needed milk. Like the Death Star needed a photon torpedo. Like Leia needed Han. (He knows, by the way).
On a scale of 1 to 10, 1 being lowest need, and 10 being Highest Emotional Need, I was at a 10, according to an Emotional Neediness Poll I have just created.
Ya down with B.A.D.? Yeah you know me.
Then, there came the Big Agent Drop, aka, the B.A.D.
In January, I was dropped from Atlas Talent after being on a "trial run" since October. Now, I am no snowflake, but that was one sore blow. Pass the mittens. I desperately wanted to be on a “top-tier” talent agency's roster in order to start regularly securing some of those massive jobs. Alas, it was not to be. They wished me well, and I wished them well too...but color me saddened (which I think is a pale cross between chartreuse and misery), because I wanted that partnership.
I had to get outside following that news. But as I trudged around our pasture, I somehow could not help but notice two thoughts that were buzzing around my head. What were those thoughts?
- I book an incredible amount of work even without a top-tier agent. And the second:
- “Others‘ endorsement of me -or lack thereof- has very little to do with my trajectory.”
WHOA NELLIE. Thank you again, Liz. Thank you. I needed you like…uh…a voice talent…uh…needs a Former Casting Agent Founder Mentor Software Developer…Chick.
Snowflakes be damned.
So here I am, returning once again to fill up your inbox with some wonderfully bloggy blogness. And I have not just returned obligatorily, but happily. Solidly. Contentedly. Winningly. Despite setbacks.
How have I bounced back?
- I am down 6 pounds on Noom, and probably more by the time this blog is published. And this time, I'll keep it off.
- I generated $9300 in new voiceover work two weeks ago
- I generated nearly $12k in new voiceover work this past week
- I immediately resumed my search for other top-tier agencies
- I am regularly exercising
- I am helping lead worship at our church
- I am reading every day
- I am hopeful about my future
- I decided to just do my own thing
And that is not all! This past Wednesday February 1st I became a new man! By “new man” I mean I enjoyed a wonderful procedure known as a colonoscopy. This is a delightful event whereby a proctologist, a curiously giddy Irish chap named Dr. Colin O’Scopy, enters my body to see if he can finally find Jimmy Hoffa. I am joking. The doctor actually takes a very small camera on a flexible stick the length of Texas, inserts it into my derrière, up into my body and out through my left eyeball while I faintly resemble a human popsicle.
I am still kidding. You see, a colonoscopy is where everything on my inside actually wants to be on my outside. A kind man named Dr. Jellyfinger inserts various things into my body via orifices clearly labeled "EXIT ONLY." These things include probes, shovels, and giant nuclear missiles. This is an important procedure for the sole purpose of seeing if I do in fact have a colon, although I have been screaming all the while PLEASE REST ASSURED I HAVE A COLON!!! Also the doctor does not buy me a drink.
But in the end, I am a New Man, according to a New Man poll I have just created, which is a wonderful thing to be, according to a Wonderful Thing poll I have just created. Isn't that wonderful? NEW!
So am I perfect now? No. But am I trying to be a better person?
Seriously – many things can get us down in life. Sometimes they are mammoth, like the death of a loved one. Sometimes they are large, like the loss of an agent. Sometimes they are medium, like feeling rejected. And sometimes they are ASTRONOMICALLY TERRIFYING incredibly small and ultimately insignificant, like a colonoscopy. Know that I sympathize, because I have likely been through it. As always, laughter is the best medicine.
I hope you are having a wonderful year. And if anyone introduces themselves to you as Colin O’Scopy, I highly suggest employing what my 3-year-old, Asher is fond of doing, which is to scream “Freeze!” and then run to a place of safety where one is not in danger of catching an acute hiatus.
YOU HAVE MADE IT ALL THE WAY TO THE END, AND I SALUTE YOU.
- Thanks for reading!
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- Check out my whole UNIVERSE of blogs right HERE!
- This is a fourth bullet point.
AND HEY! WAIT JUST A S.E.C.!
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- E-NCOURAGE: Go encourage someone else today with a single, simple sentence of affirmation. Tell them, “I like your earrings”, unless of course they are manly men, in which case you should compliment them on the size of their chainsaw.
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42 thoughts on “Of Depression, Colonoscopies, Agents & Flu”
This is not meant to reinforce any hierarchy or dispute how you feel….only to add a perspective: You may look “up” to others and feel you haven’t arrived, but there are plenty of others doing the same to you and your success. Keep doing what you’re doing, and being who you be (yeah, English is hard). Those who cheer for you will be there when you crush it, and when you stumble.
I believe and receive it. Thank you my friend! It’s easy to forget perspective…and a rising tide truly lifts all boats. I want to be the boat AND the tide! Thanks again JD. Have a blessed and fantastically successful week!
WELCOME back josh!! 🙂 🙂 i have mised your blogs! So good to have you back……and im truly sorry for your anal probing haha! ! but we have to do it dont we? Anyhoo- keep being you, we all APPRECIATE you for being who you are AND for your constant encouragment. it’s so nice to have you back where you belong. 🙂 🙂 And no you have not lost any steam, this made me and my hubby ROAR! 🙂 🙂
Haha thank you Kris – your enthusiasm is much appreciated and welcome. And apparently after the probe, I was told “this too shall pass.” HAHA! I’m reportedly in tip-top shape, so I’ve still got my health too. Have a great week, and thanks for reading and the comment!
” Follow me for more burglary tips.” I nearly fell off my chair with that one. You know where I stand on this Josh. You’ve created your own platform, to share- inspire and create. You don’t need the other one!
You. Are. Awesome. I appreciate you so very much, my friend. Thank you for your encouragement to do my own thing with business coaching, I remain incredibly grateful for your exhortation. You’re DYNAMITE! 🙂 #followmeformoreexplosiontips
I must say, reading this one, I felt absolutely every part of it, from industry’s illuminati to colonoscopy:))
You are brilliant!
Thank you Eva! I’m a believer! Seriously, thank you for reading and commenting…and relating. It’s pervasive, the way things work in our industry. You could say my eyes have really been opened this past year, and I’m not necessarily bitter, but call it an “alarmed awareness.” In any event, this has definitely colored my view of community going forward. But I’ll stay positive; I’m unquenchably so. 🙂
Have a great week!
SO MANY POLLS, SO LITTLE TIME! Thanks, Josh! Glad it all came out in the end. I’ll toast you and your Irish doc on St. Patty’s! Now, if you could just shuttle a small percentage of that work my way, you could say you are MY agent! Now, that’s better than HAVING an agent, am-I-rite?…YES…at least according to a poll I just created! I don’t need to be one of the “Cool Kids” either. Just wanna make a buck, talk to myself in a small padded room, and rescue a puppy or two!
Thank you David! I have my duly appointed representatives heading your way as we speak, with a hot steaming plate of MY WORK freely granted to you. All you have to do is sign, and it’s ALL YOURS! (According to an “All Yours” poll I just created). Thanks fellow Cool Kid with the Cute Puppies!
Hi Josh! I’m so glad you’re back, and John and I can get back into our Monday morning “Josh’s blog reading” schedule/rut! There are so many things to say and respond to here. First, but that little girl!!!😭😭😭 I love what Liz told you. Because the Joneses don’t know what YOU need or WHO YOU ARE! So don’t worry about them!! Your Father Heaven has your back. He knows what you need. Speaking of which, I just recently got back or our worship team, and man – that’s just what my soul needed, so I know you’re getting blessed while blessing God and others every Sunday!!
Thank you, thank you, thank you, for your giving heart and your massive talent and your RIDICULOUS sense of humor. I appreciate you – and I’ve always been the kid who’s not in the clique. But there are those of us whose job it is to be there for others who don’t have a clique. Maybe that’s you?! 😊❤️
You rock, Barb! T hank you for reading and commenting. And hi to your hubby too! 🙂 Yes I know – my wife will see her when she gets the blog and she’ll cry too. So sad! But what a little fighter. I admire her.
And I admire Liz too. She’s her own person, and she’s brutally honest, despite whether you care, ha! I really needed that phrase. And I needed yours too. My Father in Heaven DOES have my back…always. He is with me always, even to the very end of the age. Amen?
WOW – yesterday I got to lead the song “Build My Life” with our worship team, and I’ve never felt so powerful on stage…it went SO good! Thank you Lord. I am very grateful.
Maybe. Let’s start our own clique, yeah? We’ll call it the BarbyJoshClique, according to a Clique Naming Poll I have just created.
I’m sorry about you not making it onto their roster, but from what you told me (which I’m sure is not all the details), they didn’t do much in the line of actually getting you anything worthwhile. That’s not to put them down – I’m sure they have a great roster, but honestly think you will find a better one to be on.
I’m glad you took a break – also trying to take things a bit easier on my side. I really enjoyidly read it quietly – that is now a new word, just like “inbreatheate”! hahaha. I know lots of people didn’t like The Glass Onion, but I actually found it quite entertaining – unironically so. My fav moment was the sweatshop joke, hahaha. If you haven’t seen it yet, I’m just gonna let that sit there.
I’m the most glad that you’re taking better care of yourself and caring less about others’ validation. Honestly, I’m such a natural introvert, that I’d be concerned about being left out and not really surprised to be, but I’d never picture you as someone that people would purposefully exclude – you’re just too social, friendly, funny, etc… Their loss, for sure! I’m very glad you’re singing in a more public way again – you’re too good at it not to. I know why you steered clear of it and I think that was wise. Good to see you get back on that horse again and that it doesn’t even have to be at the museum, at night, when no one is around, when things come to life, because of a golden aspirin!
Thank you for sharing about your experience of double-standards!
And thank YOU, Marius, for being such an avid reader and commenter. I really appreciate you. I have not seen The Glass Onion but I’ve heard about it and am apparently feeling pressure that I must quickly familiarize myself with this material that people are talking about! I confess I’ve pulled back and re-immersed myself in Tolkien all over again. I’m actually working on a personal Tolkien project again that has me deeply fulfilled. 🙂
As far as the agent goes, they didn’t “get” me anything, but I did get on hold twice, which is great to be considered. It’s up to me to be so attractive to clients that they have no other choice but to choose me. Ultimately the fact that they went with someone else isn’t the fault of the agent…just is what it is. I just hoped that I would land something in that trial period to be placed on their permanent roster. Not to be, and that’s OK. “All’s well as ends better,” as the Gaffer said.
Thank you my friend…for everything. You’re a good person. You’re like my own personal golden aspirin. 🙂
At your service! hehe
I’m glad! I hope you get to finish it! I have a few projects that need finishing and need finishing soon! hehe. Would love to hear more about it when you feel you can share about it!
I appreciate you too – you really are one of my best friends.
Have a super week! 😀
You too! Well, since it’s just you and me here in the privacy of the Internet, and no one else is reading this…
Just commenting to let you know how much I missed you. Going back to actually read this thing, now!
Thank you so much, Jennifer! I hope you enjoy it. I missed writing. It was a short break, but a needed one, and gave me plenty of time to rethink what I want to do and who I want to be.
Cheers! Hope you have a FANTASTIC week!
Glad to hear from you, Josh! Well done coming through *all* the stuff of the last couple of months, and forging ahead. Not an easy feat, this Life and Health and Business Thing. Your terrific life-view is inspiring!
Oh Jenn, thank you so much for visiting, reading and replying. I appreciate it! What a ride, this overall thing called life, eh? One can’t help but blog about it, can one?!?!?!
PS, have a fantastic week in VO!
Welcome back, Josh. Breaks are good and healthy, and if memory serves, you’ve written more than a few times encouraging all of us to untether and recharge. Sounds like you’ve had some time to do that. You’re back, so I can only surmise that you did that very thing. If so, kudos. Great blog…as usual, I’m in stitches with your shenanigans. Hopefully, your colonoscopy was, ahem, “a gas.”
Thank you Craig! Don’t pull those stitches out before its time; you could have a real mess on your hands!
“Rogue” is one of my favorite words. It means you kind of get to march to the beat of your own drum.
While I often talk about how great it has been getting to simply stand in the shadows of the great ones who surround me, the great thing about rogue-liness is that you can create your own brand of greatness, to your own rogue-ly standards, and cast your own shadow as greatly as you wish to.
At the end of the day, you only need permission from yourself to be great. At the end of the day, you only need endorsement from yourself to be great. Walk your rogue path and inspire others, friend.
Roguely. Hmm. I do believe I’ve found a new favorite word. I think my next step is to order some glue-on silver letters and add -LY” to end of my Nissan Rogue, which would enable me to drive a Roguely. Immediately following, I would like to proceed to coin the adverb “Roguily”, whereby anything I do or say, I will do roguily, and say roguily, so that I might always have Rogue-like qualities. That would be VERY cool……..
…….according to a Coolness Poll I have just created.
“Acute Hiatus” – this is SO relatable mister! Welcome back! You DO provide so much to our community – who cares about those particular nay-sayers! Pffft!
Thank you Lisa. I am probably wrong in my assessment…but I had to write about it. There are ways things APPEAR to be, and nonetheless, it was just a series of consecutive bummers lately. But I’m back and ready for action. Now where did I put my microphone and scripts….where are they…let’s see….AH! Right where I left them, under this here acute hiatus.
If no one has told you lately, you are a VERY entertaining writer! I love your style and wordplay!
Glad you’re back. Keep kickin’ ass!
Oh thank you Scott! I appreciate it very much! OK, OK…fine. Then per your request, I’m here to kick ass and chew bubblegum…and I’m all out of bubblegum! 🙂 Go GIT ’em my friend!
I appreciate you, your transparency, and your BRILLIANT polls, Josh. The timeliness (duly note, not “timelines with an added “s”) gently nudged my committee increasing the volume on the voices in my own head. They certainly concur. I needed this! Lots of knowing nods
Glad you’re back and glad you’re clean as a whistle. As has been encouraged here, keep doing you, Boo-boo. There’s only one and the privilege has been bestowed on you. We are truly grateful. Onward.
ONWARD indeed! Thank you Liz! Oscar Wilde said “Be you; everyone else is already taken.” In the New Oscar Wilde Expanded Edition it says, “Be YOU, BOOBOO! Everyone else is already taken, Bacon!” Or something like that. I’ll check. 🙂
Your blog is one of the most entertaining, informative and honest blogs I listen to. Thank you for bringing us all a smile and make us feel like we get to spend a little time out of our day with you. We learned so much about your…. um… “polls”… erruhmmm .. I just learned that from the “how much did you learn from polls” poll I just created. All I could picture was the Cabin Boy walking out and exclaiming ” these Pipes … ARE CLEEEAANNN!!!” lol. Glad your back brotha!
I’m not crying. YER crying! Thanks Charles Herbert Coats II. I appreciate the sentiments and the fact that you took a little time out of your day with me! It’s the GREATEST HONOR EVER! (According to a GREATEST HONOR EVER poll I have just created.) Many blessings on you, my friend! Good to be back.
I want to thank you for being transparent. I also want to thank you for sharing the insights of a voiceover artist. I am still a novice and am trying to get up and running. Got other things on my plate and need to move some things off. I feel that when you are about to reach the top, there is something that holds you back… Some people don’t want to see you move up because they know you will surpass them. It is a shame but it is true. Keep doing you. Maybe one day you can hold your own conference.. Hmmm… Just putting it out there for you. Keep up the good work.. I know the old cliché when one door closes, another one opens. But sometimes those doors that are closed on you, needed to be closed because what’s behind those doors are not meant for you. All the best to you.
You are not alone in the conference suggestion, Cynthia! I’ve thought about it! Others have encouraged me in this regard as well. So we’ll see. But it would not be in competition, that’s for sure…it would be in cohesion with. I think there would be a need fulfilled through it up here in the Pac NW. So again, we’ll see. Thank you for the encouragement, visiting, reading, and commenting!
Cheers, and go git ’em! If I can help in any regard, you have only to ask.
No you shouldn’t do it in competition. You should do something a little different than what is the norm and at a totally different time then what going on already. Take your time.. think about it.. let us know. I’m in the Midwest so may not make it but could do some virtual meetings.
I agree! *puts thinking cap on* Thank you Cynthia! *commence rumination*
Welcome back, my friend! So happy to have you edutaining us again! You are doing so amazingly well in your career and you are such a great supporter of other VO talent! So, keep being you and know that so many of us appreciate you for who you are and what you do for us!
Thank you so much Theresa…I greatly appreciate it. Right back at you! I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: the only thing I like better than blogging about voiceovers is performing and billing for them! I missed writing. Good to be back in the saddle. Giddyup! Hope you’re having a super awesome massive epic stellar killer week!
I needed to read this tonight. I’ve been in a slump and getting down but I like how you creatively adapted. Good or bad, I rank you as one of the gurus of the art. : )
Thank you Susan! I deeply appreciate it. Slumps are inevitable in an entrepreneurial pursuit like this…sometimes it can truly be feast or famine. The only common denominator is…you guessed it…YOU. Me. Each of us. Each continuing to navigate these unsteady, unpredictable waters with grace and determination, committed to seeing ourselves through the dry spells to once again arrive and drop anchor in the havens of bounty.
Yes. I wrote that.
Thank you for visiting and commenting, and go git ‘em!
Yeah, you had a few kicks in the head there. That’s a rough run, but it sounds like you’re indeed come roaring back. I too, after speaking at VO Atlanta 2022 (like you!), was told that I wasn’t one of their choices for 2023, though I was asked for One Voice instead (I’ll take it!). I’ve had my dry spell, too, and now I’m sidelined like you were with a cough and rough voice, the bane of our VO existence. Sh*t happens (well, there was that colonoscopy!), but you bounced back in fine style and you have your supporters! Remember that you’re an inspiration to many. As well as the source of more groaners than ever found in the aaaa-verage blog. (Say that last phrase like Yogi Bear and you’ll get my meaning.) All good stuff!
OK I do believe I just spewed out my drink…hahaha!!! Thank you for that little human waste interlude….glad you didn’t “waste” that!
Keep on groanin’. Thanks so much Laura – you too are an inspiration to many, me notwithstanding! (Any chance to say “notwithstanding.” By the way when they did their colonoscopy on me I was lying down, so I was “notwithstanding.”)